What are you Thankful for?

At a time when I would not normally be on Facebook, I happened to log in and see this post from a very dear online friend of mine, Ann.  It struck a chord with me on how rarely we really stop and think about the things in our lives we should be thankful for. So I decided to expand the movement beyond just my Facebook page.  So, here is your challenge for November…  follow the instructions below and post your responses, either as a comment here, a post on your own blog, your Facebook status or as a Tweet.

“Let’s see how many people can do this. Every day this month until Thanksgiving, think of one thing that you are thankful for and post it as your status. “Today I am thankful for…” The longer you do it, the harder it gets! Now if you think you can do it then repost this message as your status to invite others to take the challenge, then post what YOU are thankful for today. Borrowed from a very wise Facebook Friend”

Looking forward to hearing what you are Thankful for!    

I’ll start with the number one thing I am thankful for – The love of my family and friends, especially my sons.

Upcoming Events 9-14-2009 Edition

As promised – Here is this week’s list of some of the fun, interesting, educational and exciting things things I’ll be doing over the next few months.

(Disclaimer: This is not a comprehensive list. There are many more events occurring throughout the city and I encourage you to locate and attend the ones that appeal to you.  These are just some of the events for the organizations that I am involved with.  If you need help locating an event, please let me know and I’ll try and point you in the right direction.)

September 14th - Bloblive – Open mic night for entrepreneurs – Come out & be inspired by the ideas and passion of budding entrepreneurs.

September 16th – Marketing Profs Virtual Conference Digital Marketing World Fall 2009 will sum up the cutting-edge information and skills you need to master the latest, most successful digital marketing techniques out there.

September 16th – Ladies Who Launch Linc Up – LAUNCH IN AN INSPIRATIONAL NETWORKING COMMUNITY! This is a marvelous opportunity to connect with other women at various stages of their business or project, promote your own and continue to build its success.

September 17th – Doylestown Tweetup – 5 – 8 pm at CrossKeys Pub

September 18th – RED STAPLER CONSULTING’S 1ST ANNIVERSARY HAPPY HOUR!  – Come help us celebrate our 1st year in business!

September 19th – Ideation 2009 – Take Entrepreneurs from Idea to IPO – an information-loaded networking event for entrepreneurs and business owners.  Ideation2009 will provide entrepreneurs to mid-sized corporations with the essential steps for taking a business concept from idea to reality.

September 21st – SMCPhilly September meeting – “What’s More Social than Food?!”   Join us as we talk with some local food bloggers and restaurantuers who have been effectively using different forms of Social Media to spread their love of food and cooking.

September 22nd – Philly Tweetup 6:30 – 9pm at the Irish Pub

September 24th – PANMA – Philadelphia Area New Media Association  “You’ve Started A Business, Now What?”  A discussion and tips on getting your new business organized.

September 26th – Philly Pecha Kucha What is Pecha Kucha?   It’s the Japanese word for “chit-chat” (say “peh chak cha”). It’s also a kind of rapidfire creative show-and-tell governed by a simple rule: show 20 images, talk for 20 seconds apiece.

September 29th Grow Smart Biz Conference (Washington DC)  The GrowSmartBiz Conference will provide you with the information and resources you need to capitalize upon the six identified areas proven to make your small business more successful.

September 29th – Bloblive Open mic night for entrepreneurs

October 3 & 4 – PodCamp Philly PodCamp is a BarCamp-style UnConference dedicated to podcasting, blogging, video bloging and all things New Media. Whether you’re an industry veteran or new media “newbie,” you’ll find that PodCamp offers low cost, high-quality, user-generated content in a welcoming, all-inclusive environment.  This year we are including Search Camp and Social Media Camp so come get all your digital media on!

October 5 & 6 – Global Creative Economy Convergence Summit The creative economy is multidisciplinary and interdisciplinary and the audience will reflect this diversity. Entrepreneurs, business leaders, and creative technology professionals representing the design, multimedia, and IT sectors; economic and workforce development professionals; and cultural leaders should attend the Summit to learn about the successful and emerging creative technologies and initiatives that are driving economic growth locally.

October 5th – ShareUrMeal Launch Party -  Philly’s newest and most creative way to bring food to the less fortunate. Stay tuned for more details on how you can do your part to help feed the hungry.

October 5th to 16th – Dining by Design a new series of events that highlights creativity and innovation in the restaurant community.  Philadelphia-based company DiningInfo.com coordinated Dining by Design to coincide with the Global Creative Summit and Design Philadelphia.

October 12th – Savor the Sites – a walking dinner tour combining some of Philadelphia’s culinary “sights” with unique design and architectural sights (One of the Dining by Design events)

October 17th – Less Conference (Jacksonville, FL) A conference for marketers, designers, coders, business people, freelancers or anyone who wants to be inspired by amazing business people.

October 20th – SMC Philly – Wil Reynolds joins us to talk about Social Media & SEO

October 23 – Blog Potomac - Attendees can expect a one-day event with nationally renowned speakers and advanced discussion of best social media marketing practices.

November 2 – SMC Philly Emanuel Rosen, author of “The Anatomy of Buzz Revisited” will be talking about real-life lessons in word of mouth marketing.

November 14 – BarCamp Philly – Philly’s tech, creative, entrepreneurial – Whatever you want it to be! Unconference

STAY TUNED FOR REGULAR UPDATES! Hope to see some of you at some of these awesome events.

Twitter Tales

For her blogaversary Conversation Agent, Valeria Maltoni, asked her readers to submit their Twitter Tales.  She asked us to “write a short post describing how a connection you made on Twitter, first, lead you to an opportunity and opened new horizons”.   While I have many, many Twitter tales of deep and lasting friendships and professional relationships that have developed from chance meetings on Twitter.  There are a few that stand out as examples of how small and connected our world truly has become and how wide we make it when we reach out to those we encounter on Twitter.

Here is a link to my Twitter Tale…..

http://redstaplerconsulting.net/2009/09/14/twitter-tales/

I’d love to hear yours!

Community or Clique?

Or more appropriately – Are you building a community or a clique?

We are all a part of many communities, both on and off line.  We are inundated with constant buzz about “building communities”.   How often though do we stop and look at whether what we are building or joining is really a community or is it a clique?

There are many different definitions of community.  Some having to with interests and some having to do with geography.   What we seem to have accepted as one definition of community (especially offline ones) is a group of people with similar interests and an agreement as to goals.  The question arises when do we cross the line between being an inclusive, supportive community to a clique (a small exclusive group of friends or associates).

So what do we really mean when we talk about building communities? What really differentiates a community from a clique?  In every community that we belong to, we have those who we feel more comfortable with, those we have more in common with.   But just a like a family, there is always that old aunt or uncle who tells the bad jokes or insists on pinching our cheeks.  There are the people we have less in common with, that we are not as comfortable being around.  When we talk about building a community doesn’t that mean including those people?  If we do not, aren’t we just building a clique?

Communities are multi-facted. If we accept that a community is a group of like-minded people working towards similar goals, doesn’t that mean we have to accept the ones we have less in common with, but who still meet that definition?  In your community, how often do you reach out to those people?  How often do you take the time to find out about them?  Do you reach out and try to help them?  If you are the “leader” of the community, isn’t it your responsibility to foster that environment?  If you claim to want to build a community, shouldn’t you be doing everything possible to foster communication, acceptance and cooperation among your community members?

Are you taking the time to learn and share the negative as well as the positive?  It is easy to share and celebrate all of the good things, but are you also willing to commit to helping your community members through the bad ones?  Do you have a community member who is having a hard time personally or professionally?  Do you even know?  If so, what are you doing to draw the community together to help this person?  Are you using all of the avenues and tools available to know what going on with your community members so that you can act on the good things and the bad things?

We all have our buddies, our friends within our communities and this is not to say that we should not have those we hang out with, socialize with and support those individuals.  But when we revolve our actions around those individuals and not everyone in our community, then we are not really building a community.  If your stated objectives include anything about togetherness, support, sharing or communication and you are not actively reaching across your entire organization and beyond with these concepts, then you are not building a community.  You are building a clique.

Community & the Quality of Our Relationships

This is a reprint of a post I wrote in June 2008, but I feel that the message is especially relevant for me and a lot of others right now.  So here it is again.

Sometimes things come to us in such a timely manner, that it restores our faith in the patterns of the universe.  After having ignored my GoogleReader for several days (way too many, don’t even ask how long!)  I started to wade through through the massive amount of reading I had in front of me.   As usual, when I have built it up to that lovely 1000+  (you have to love when it is so many that they will intimidate you with 1000+ and not really tell you how many there are!) that GR intimindatingly shows me I have failed to keep up on, I’m skimming subjects and titles.  In my haste to clear, I almost skipped over this particular post, but something drew me back.  Not only because it was Gary V, but something about the title resonated with some of my recent musings.

http://garyvaynerchuk.com/2008/06/05/when-do-you-know-you-have-a-community/

Gary talks about when you know you have a Community (yes capital “C”).   Now, I’m not sure that I can ever be as eloquent as Gary, but I’d like to think I share his passion.  His focus is on the social media crowd, but I think his message can be expanded to many aspects of our lives.  He reminds us all that community = communication!  If you are having a dialogue with just one person, you have a Community.

Gary’s words reinforced things that have been occurring to me lately.  I’m in the process of making a Major move and Major changes in my life.  In preparing to make these changes, I have been evaluating the roles that various people play in my life. When Gary talks about needing to remember that it does not matter how many Twitter followers or blog readers, it made me remember that it does not matter how many friends I have collected, how many colleagues admire me, how many business associates I have contacts with.  It is about the quality of these relationships. Now, I will admit that sometimes I get lost in believing that the more people I am able to surround myself with, the more people there are to make me happy, to reinforce the positives about myself, in general just to affirm my existence.    Occasionally it is nice to be reminded that I don’t need anyone to affirm me.   What I need is myself and the positive power of a good Community.   And Gary has reminded me of that. He has reminded me that I not only need myself, I need good dialogue with a single person and I have a solid Community.

I’m one of the lucky ones, I’ve realized that I have a lot of people in my Community, good people, solid people, smart people, caring and inspiring people.  From the people I love, my family, my close friends, some business associates, my Twitter  peeps and the sweet people who take the time to read this, I’m blessed with this Community.

Reciprocity?

Chris Brogan got me thinking in his post entitled “Quid Pro No“.  Chris asks a few questions about the online etiquette of reciprocation.  If you follow me on Twitter, does that obligate me to follow you back?  If you send me a connect request me on LinkedIn, does that require me to accept me?  If you friend me on Facebook, am I obligated to say yes?  Chris goes on to ask about the online etiquette of accepting invitations to join Facebook groups or other social networking sites.

The basic question here is whether or not we should feel obligated to accept all of these invitations.  What is the etiquette?  The answer is as varied as the number of people in all of the social networking sites on the internet. We all have our own ethics, our own standards of conduct and more importantly our own level of comfort regarding our privacy.  We should make our choices based on our own set of priorities  while not ignoring the “Golden Rule” principle.

The relationships we build online can be invaluable. The business associations, the support structure and the friendships we develop can be the basis for improvement of our lives.  So is it wrong to be selective on the connections we choose to make?  I think not.  I think it is not only appropriate but necessary.  If we state that our reason for being a part of a social network is conversations and relationships, shouldn’t we make sure that those conversations and relationships are valuable?  Just as in “real” life (and that is in quotes because my online life is just as real to me as my offline), we don’t make friends or business associates out of every person we meet, why should we feel an obligation to do so online?

If we are using an open-minded, reasonably thought out, rational basis for choosing who we follow, friend, accept invitation from, shouldn’t that be enough? So, how do you make those decisions? What criteria do you use when making these choices?

Everything I should need to know about Social Media I learned in Kindergarten

I often find myself alternately amazed and appalled at the behavior of some people on Twitter and other social networking sites.  Amazed at the kind, caring, generous, selfless nature of some people.  Appalled at the crass, rude, selfish, self-centered behavior of others.   I have witnessed some of the most thoughtful, philanthropic, kind interactions between online strangers (who do not remain strangers for long).  Unfortunately, sometimes it also appears that we have forgotten that there is a human being on the other end of that message we have just sent out into cyberspace.  A human being with feelings, opinions, desires and rights.

In kindergarten we learn some very basic rules of behavior.  They all revolved around courtesy, thoughtfulness and the “Golden Rule”.   Along with learning letters (more on the ABC’s of Social Media in an upcoming post) numbers and animal names, our kindergarten teachers worked hard to teach us sharing and respect.

They read us stories and played games and occasionally scolded us about taking turns with the toys and crayons.  Leaving gentle reminders in our forming minds about the importance of letting others have time.  By encouraging us to “play nice”, they were working to instill the lessons of courtesy – that everyone, no matter how skilled or not, should get a turn kicking the ball.  That by sharing time on the swings, we can make that shy little girl standing on the side of the playground smile.

They tried to instill in us a sense of propriety or at least as much of it as our 5 and 6 year old minds could handle.  We sang songs and read books about what not to say and when not to say it. That occasionally we need to stop and think before we talk.  To learn that little bit of internal censorship that translates into learning how to say something tactfully.  As my kindergarten teachers put it, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”.

They taught us about listening.  How important it is to stop and really hear what someone else is saying before we respond.  That we can’t talk all the time.  We won’t ever do the exercise right or have the right answers unless we really listen to the questions or what is being said.

They worked hard to instill a love of learning and growing.  Continuing the lessons that started with our parents and communities that life is about learning something new everyday.  It is about constantly growing beyond what we feel are our best selves.

Our selfless kindergarten teachers also taught us the importance of a balance between work and play.  Our days were interspersed with a mixture of work, play, eating and naps.  The essentials that we as adults need to remember.  Literal naps are not always possible, but sometimes we need to take virtual naps.  We need to step away and refresh ourselves so we can bring value back to our online communities.

So what does taking turns, sharing, talking nice and listening have to do with Social Media?  Everything!  The key word is and (at least for me) will always be Social.  Communities can not exist without some decorum and common courtesy.  Or at least they shouldn’t.  When we engage in Social Media we are forming relationships, we are building communities.  The same rules that applied when we were learning about forming friendships, relationships, groups when we were in elementary school should still apply now.  At what point did we begin to think it was acceptable to be rude, condescending, vulgar or just down right mean?  Just because that person we are talking to, or worse about, is not in the same room, doesn’t mean that we should treat them any differently.

So let’s all take a moment.  Think back to how kindergarten felt.  Think about the lessons we learned there about courtesy, kindness, respect, listening, sharing and honesty.  Let’s try to remember while we may not always agree, we can always be civil.  Remember that our community is only as valuable as each person in it.  Remember that it is not all about us, it is about the community and the relationships we build within it.  Now, go back to those online communities and spread the word, that everything we need to know about succeeding in Social Media, we really did learn in kindergarten.

Inspiration

This is a reprint of a post I wrote almost a year ago.  The topic seems exceptionally relevant to me and several of my friends right now, so I thought I would share it again.

It is an individual and curious quest that sends us each on our path to finding inspiration.  Yet once found, it opens a world that few would have imagined previously.  We all know that somewhere inside of us we have unique abilities, talents, skills, whatever you chose to call them.  I’ve recently come to believe that it is discovering what truly inspires us that leads us to uncovering those hidden abilities.   I know that there are many different things that inspire me on a daily basis sometimes as simple as a sunny day, a smile on my kids faces or a tweet from one of my friends/mentors/educators on Twitter.  The list goes on and on and at the moment that they pass my consciousness they mark themselves as sparks to be remembered.  My problem is that I forget and become complacent, failing to act on the sparks of inspiration that wind themselves through my daily life.

In exploring the directions I want my life to take, I am realizing that I really need to start paying more attention to the things that inspire me.   That the failure to follow the occasional flights of fancy that make me sit up and take notice is becoming a roadblock on the pathway to my dreams.  I need to learn to put more faith in inspiration to guide me in taking the correct fork in the road that will lead to the center of my passions.  So that now is my mission – follow my instincts, discover my inspiration and follow them both to my passion.  It will not be an easy road, changing old bad habits never is, but it is one that I hope will make my life an inspiration to others.  And isn’t that what life should be about, bringing joy, inspiration and light to others?   What inspires you?  And how can you use it to  improve the vision and focus on your passion and dreams?

How are you building your network?

I was honored to be one of the speakers on the Networking panel at Spark Networking.  The other panelists and I had compiled a list of tips, such as,

Do ask thought-provoking questions that won’t have a yes/no answer.

Do have an elevator pitch.

Do be engaging; develop relationships.

Don’t try to sell your product or service when networking.

Don’t request or provide contact information until you’ve talked to someone.

These and the other tips were meant to aide the participants at Spark in taking their networking skills to the next level. The tips varied on topic, but there was one consistent message = Networking is about having conversations that develop into connections.  Networking is about using these conversations to share the information that develops relationships.  Networking is like weaving a spiderweb of interconnected people.  And like a well-built spider web, that network that you are building needs to be strong and “sticky”.  It needs to branch out from it’s center – You – and continue to grow with each interaction.

When building your network, it is important to remember that the integrity of the web will only be as solid as

- the work you put into building it

- the relationships that you build to connect it

- your honesty, integrity and authenticity that give it strength and stability

My friend and business coach, JJ Reich, put it very well in his post “How Strong is your Network?”

Networking Is All About Building Trust

What most people fail to recognize is that networking is about trust more than anything else. And trust requires that people “feel” that you care about them – not just their pocketbook. They need to feel that you understand who they are and what makes them tick (at least at a cursory level).

You don’t build trust by telling people who YOU are.
Instead, you build trust by understanding who THEY are.

Effective networking not only makes a contact, it makes a connection.  It requires you to utilize your communication and your organization skills.  More importantly though, effective networking is accomplished through honest, authentic curiosity.  Take the time to learn about the other person, develop a relationship with them and build trust between you and them.   These things develop the kind of connections that can be weaved into the strong, sticky spiderweb that will “trap” and hold your business growth.

Returning to relationships

Every time I read “Now is Gone” by Geoff Livingston, I find something new that jumps out at me and makes me stop, think and just nod my head in agreement.  This time, it was this paragraph -

Communities have been the watch word of the new media revolution, but what does that really mean?  it means we are returning to relationships.  Everyone thinks it’s a revolution, when in reality it’s a return to old-fashioned values.  Relationships and values in the sense of the baker, the butcher and general store owners down on Main Street.  People want to know their vendors, they want to interact with them, and most importantly, they want to be heard! Instead, the small town feel is now a global phenomenon – creating millions of global micro-communities.

It is true that we are looking to the businesses we interact with to be more .. interactive.  We, as consumers want to be able to reach out to these companies with our complaints and our compliments.  The irony of technology bringing us together and forging old-fashioned relationships is not lost on this author.  What also is not lost is the importance of these relationships.  In the social media world, we are coming more and more to understand that without the quality of relationships, we are floundering.  It is our responsibility as practitioners of this art to find ethical, realistic, authentic ways to build those relationships.  To find ways to help our clients build those relationships.  To show them the importance of open, honest, transparent communication that are the bricks and mortar in the foundations of those relationships.

Tonight I asked posed a question to my followers on Twitter - “Everyone who values the conversations & relationships they have developed on Twitter more than the numbers Please Raise Your Hands!” The response has been overwhelming!  Followers far and wide “threw up their hands” in support of the importance of conversations and relationships over the value of the number of followers.  I followed up asking these respondents what the biggest benefit they have found from being on Twitter.  Some of the responses include –

krob.@gloriabell Meeting people I would not otherwise have a chance to, and developing my own community of people to share life with…

guitarmantoo@gloriabell The interesting conversations, things I’ve learn and the diverse people.

mikeyil@gloriabell My biggest benefit: making a whole slew of new friends

jacobburke@gloriabell The biggest benefit of being on Twitter for me is the new business connections that I have made.

krisis@gloriabell Re: twitter benefit, just having an instantaneous commonality engine at my fingertips exposing previously invisible connections.

The common thread is quite evidently the conversations and the relationships that develop from those conversations.  Whether we are using the tools, like Twitter, for business or personal reasons the importance of the relationships is prevalent.  People want connections. We want to return to the feelings of chatting on the porch with our neighbors.  Shopping at the corner store.   The feeling of knowing that when we reach out someone will be there.  It is a magical time that technology and social media have allowed us, as people, consumers and businesses to make those connections.  What now becomes important is that we do the work necessary to maintain them.  Just as any good relationship between two people requires work and give and take on both sides, so do these relationships we develop online.  They require that we engage one another. That sometimes we be the givers and sometimes we be the takers. That we truly listen and answer more than we talk or broadcast.  It requires us to make a commitment of time and energy.  And it requires that we, as social media practitioners be prepared to assist our clients with not only seeing this reality, but learning to live it.  As I tell my clients (and everyone else) social media is not something you Do, it is something you Live.  Quite simply, you do not “do” relationships and conversations, you “live” them.   So my challenge to all of you is go Live it.  Let your actions speak louder than the words you type.  Let your interactions and the relationships that develop from them be the model for your clients and friends to emulate. Go start the conversations.  Return to the relationships.